My 10 in 10 Diet Failures
Ten things I’ve tried in the past ten years to lose weight, not in any order of success or I’d be at least a little lighter
And, yes, I know it’s not Tuesday. But it will be soon.
1. Gum Chewing – No matter the flavor, chewing gum does not result in suppressing the appetite. At least mine. And, trust me, it doesn’t matter how good the flavor sounds – Passionberry and Fruitini whatever.
2. Bulimia – Gross
3. Weight Watchers – I made it to one meeting. One. And yet I still am a member. Why, oh why.
4. Walk/Jog/Walk/Jog/Crawl – Boring
5. 21 Day Detox Diet – My husband was on board on this one. We bought the health store out of this-is-gonna-make-you-poop pills and smelly green veggie drink powder. Well, at least I wasn’t alone on this failure. Should have kept the receipt.
6. Atkins – Yeah, that was just too much meat.
7. Gym Membership – Really, it’s a pain to park at my neighborhood gym. I guess I could walk there.
8. Anorexia – Yeah, that lasted two hours.
9. Phen Phen – This did work. Until I stopped taking it.
10. Diet Food – So, I’ll just eat diet food. You know, the Smart Ones or Lean Cuisines for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yeah, that lasted two days. Sounds convenient but shockingly I’m not disciplined enough.
It’s OK to make mistakes as long as we learn from them, right? (Please nod your head to reassure me.) Looking over this list of failures, I’ve learned that one, I am pathetic and sad, sad, sad, and, two, I have zero discipline and endurance. And, oh, yes, most importantly, I’ve learned that I am the queen of excuses, shameless denial, and deliberate surrender.
Now, where’s that Snickers I hid by my side of the bed? Tomorrow is a new day.
HAHA I have done all of those!! Thank you so much for the comment! It made my day, as far as getting my stuff together, yeah still working on that, maybe you can show me how.
You motivated me to post more, so tomorrow I will =0
Felicia
So true. I was just thinking about different diets. My dh is doing one where he basically just records what he eats on his iphone. That’s why he’s sticking w/it. Because he likes his iphone. LOL.
Yeah, I think I’ve tried all of those except the bulimia and anorexia. maybe we should combine the makes-you-poop pills with the atkins, because atkins was murder on my colon!
Fun post! thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by my blog today too.
I recommend Weight Watchers online – there is no one to face but yourself. I would completely balk at an in-person meeting – I don’t want any so-called cheerleaders!
I did a modified Atkins once – and almost threw up on day two from the eggs (which I hate). Diet over after 24 hours…
hahaha…just read this…i’m on the anti-diet! i just love food too much…i have high hopes for 2010..i’m calling 09 pretty much a disaster on so many fronts, including diet and exercise (or lack thereof!)