Getting Over Myself
This last week, during week two of the Fat Loss Program, I really focused on making the time for my exercise. I made it very clear to my family that we’re going home and mom’s off limits for a mere 30 minutes. Survive without me. And survive they did. I had to deal with a few interruptions, but I kept my focus, told them to ‘get out,’ and they did. And the world kept turning, and they didn’t look at me with their big brown tear-filled eyes asking me what kind of horrible mom God stuck them with. Maybe just a small part of me wished they did that, but I squashed that down and got dinner on the table.
You know how on a flight, the flight attendant explains what you should do if the plane is in trouble? And she demonstrates the oxygen equipment and explains to first put on your own oxygen mask and then help others with theirs? Before I had kids and even when I was a young mom, I never got that. My kids come first! I would reason. Naturally, I’m going to protect them first and give them the oxygen first. And then I would worry about myself.
And then I finally and really got it. Ah-ha! I must give myself the oxygen first so that I’m around to give them the oxygen!
What a thought. And even though it makes logical sense and is used as a metaphor in the everyday life of a mother, I don’t do it. I’m constantly giving everyone else in my life the oxygen first and taking the little bits that are left. And you know what I’m left with? Stress in the form of disorganization and frazzle-ness and tardiness and exhaustion, all which bring me to tears and the beginnings once again into the depression-and-overeating-downward-spiral.
Why do I do this over and over and day after day? Give myself so completely to everyone? Because if I say no, I’m bad – a bad mother, a bad wife, a bad person. I reason the oxygen-logic away and reason myself into the fact that so-and-so needs me and whatever it is, they can’t make it without me. They’ll die without me.
Yeah, I need to get over myself. And instead make time for myself.
so true..our friend over at Theta Mom http://www.thetamom.com/ offers Theta Mom thursdays; this is the day that she sets aside at least an hour a day just for her. no kids, no work, no hubby, etc.
it makes us all better moms when we are centered, balanced and just not so crazy! you are an awesome mom!
AMEN!!! I have just hit this realization myself. And even though I know all this. I still find myself giving until there is nothing left. It is really a hard thing for me to over come!!